Bye bye 2019, and hello 2020. Like most years, 2019 had its fair share of the happy times, the fun times, times of heartache and pain. There were opportunities taken and opportunities missed. It would be taking the easy route to sit here and concentrate on the negative, or the people that may wronged us, but I dare everyone to concentrate on the positive, those people that made their hearts feel warm and loved. If you are able to do that, then I guarantee your perspective of 2019 and life as a whole will look brighter.
A Decade of Dave
I recently saw people sharing photos comparing themselves now to what they looked like to ten years ago. I couldn’t find a photo of me from ten years ago (probably a good thing), but it did get me thinking about how my life was at the start of 2010 compared to now.
I started 2010 living in a mold riddled, tiny two bedroom flat, in a rundown area, next to a rundown pub, struggling with overwhelming, crippling anxiety, not knowing if I had still had a job. I don’t want to say too much as this part of my life is going to be another blog with a podcast (so stay tuned it is a juicy one). Me and Laura had not been together that long and unfortunately for Laura, she had to witness me in my worse form. Laura had to watch as the man she loved crumbled to a shell of who she thought he was. Don’t worry it ends happy (obviously), Laura also got to witness me picking myself back up, fighting, slowly rebuilding myself and not giving up, even though I told her every single day I no longer wanted to be here. Real love isn’t about giving fancy gifts or going on expensive holidays. Real love is staying by your partners side when they are curled up in a heap on the floor wrapped up in the duvet crying, whilst they’re screaming at you to ring for an ambulance. It is holding their hand, wiping their tears and giving them something to fight for. Laura did all those things and so so so much more. I could never have achieved everything I have without Laura’s unquestionable love and patience. Laura channeled the sand tiger from Aladdin, she saw the diamond in the rough.
After I started to get better, me and Laura moved out of that flat and rented a nice house, in a nice area. As the saying goes, you can’t heal yourself in the same place that broke you. Over the coming years, I moved jobs, lost friends and made new ones. I proposed to Laura, she said yes. We got married at a beautiful location (best wedding I have been to yet) and we started a family.
I look back and see I started 2010 broken, scared, trying to hide my wounds. Due to love, time and determination, I ended 2019 stronger, happier, wearing my scars of the past proudly. I am more confident and content with life than I have ever been. I was able to do it all with the same amazing lady by my side. The same woman who blessed me with the greatest gifts a man could have, Brooke-Haze and Ember. I now have the family that I always dreamed of. I would have to say, it has been the best decade yet.
What will 2020 bring?
That is a good question, 2020 will hopefully see me building my podcast up, becoming more confident with speaking, and start interviewing and talking to other amazing warriors out there. I would also like to start a YouTube channel but I am moving at baby steps to ensure I am not over stretching myself.
I hope 2020, brings peace and love to all my family. I hope it brings my oldest brother the stability he needs and my middle brother the healing he needs.
Health In 2020
I have been struggling every now and then with the weather being cooler. I have however invested in so very nice, warm thick socks (
https://daveagainstms.com/heat-holder-socks-review ) to help combat the pain and a stretch strap (https://daveagainstms.com/yoga-stretch-strap-review) which has really helped with getting a good stretch in my legs. This has helped with spasms and the pain. Besides that nothing has changed MS wise. I am still a firm believer if you keep your mind right the body will follow. I make sure I find time to appreciate what I have rather than what I haven’t and to keep what is really important in the forefront of my mind. I also have been pushing myself to do things that might make me a little uncomfortable, to push me out my comfort zone because I know if I don’t I could easily be reclusive. Doing this helps build confidence, something I have lacked in through most of my life.
Work In 2020
I have not been needed at BMW at all this year. This a blessing in disguise really. I get more time to concentrate my me without it being me deciding NOT to work, the downside I am not earning my own money again which I did enjoy. I also miss working really really hard with Declan, I was just starting to get the hang of throwing teabags into a mug from a distance.
Having more free time has meant I have been able to volunteer at Brooke-Hazes school. I originally signed on to help with the school library, helping the children sign in and out their books, but after a nice conversation with Brookes school teacher I am now helping in the Year 2 classrooms as well. I have only been doing this for a couple of weeks as I am writing this but so far it has been an amazing experience. It has caused me to look at what I could do with my life. This September brings the very sad occasion of Ember starting school. Even though she won’t be starting school until September, we all know how fast time will go. It feels like only yesterday I quit full time work to look after a 15month old Ember, That was early 2017. Ember is now a walking, talking, very clever 4 year old. It was been such a privilege to watch Ember grow from a baby to the amazing young lady. My thoughts at the moment are, if the volunteering carries on going well, I might be able to move into some sort of paid position within the school. Possibly a Teaching Assistant. Any role that revolves around school times would be a great fit for me and the family.
Perspective Is The Key To Happiness
2020 has the opportunity to be great for everyone providing our perspectives and expectations are right. Every situation you can choose to look at negatively or choose to look at positively. That is easier said than done I know but remember it is a marathon not a sprint. So lets aim for the moon but don’t be disgruntled if we only lay among the stars.
Thanks for reading and if you do fancy talking on my podcast please do not hesitate to get in touch whether it be on here or my instagram, Twitter or Facebook. I would love to hear your story, your views on life, you never know, the things you do to live a happy life might help someone else live a better one.