I entered this week feeling very poorly, which is frustrating the hell out of me. I don’t know if it’s the same for all chronic illness sufferers, but for me, when I get ill all my other MS pains etc. triple their intensities. I was also scheduled to work Tuesday to Friday. I obviously could have said I was no longer available, but it would have been short notice and I do not like letting people down. I also want to finish this programme the same way I started it; strong. But as stated before, there is no excuse not to do anything, so I did my best to do as much as possible.
Day 64 – Monday 10th December 2018
I am always feeling like I go on and on about my mornings and waking up, but hand on heart, it is one of the hardest parts of my day. Even on a good day waking up is hard. I struggle to get to sleep and some mornings I am getting up after only four hours sleep. This would be hard for a “normal” person, let alone a person with a chronic illness that causes them to have chronic fatigue. I got up feeling awful. My throat was sore, my joints ached, and it was cold. I took all the medication to aid with these feelings and quickly turned the thermostat up (luckily we have one you control with an app) and slowly woke up. I did my usual routine but feeling this bad along with my other aches and pains, it just wasn’t cutting it. I reverted to my classic hip-hop playlist and got ready.
Both girls were fed and dressed before the usual time, so I was able to sit and ring my doctors for an appointment. After only 157 calls I finally got through; no appointments left! They put me down for a telephone appointment and if the doctor decided he needed to see me he would. Now I have never been to medical school, but a person with MS and asthma, showing signs of breathing difficulty… kind of obvious. He phoned me on the way back home from the school drop off and low and behold, he wanted to see me. Off me and Ember went to the doctors. He prescribed me steroids and some antibiotics.
Even though the doctors were a massive pain in my backside, Monday was still a special day as it was Brooke-Haze’s Christmas play. Brooke-haze was originally going to be Mary but because the school let the kids choose who they wanted to play, as soon as she realised she could be an angel she swapped. Brooke-Haze is so confident and loves being on a stage. I have no idea who she gets it from, I was a wimp as a child and Laura is a wimp now.
It was supposed to be pull exercises but with how poorly my body was feeling and work looming I didn’t want to push my body too far.
Day 65 – Tuesday 11th December 2018
Tuesday was my first work day of the week. Mark was away training, hence why I was drafted in to help, which meant it wouldn’t be as good a week as usual, but still nice to get some adult conversation and challenge my brain in a different way to normal. I worked 9am until 4pm with no break which suits me. I took all my medicines with me. My inhalers, ibuprofen, Beechams Cold & Flu, Pregabalin, Vicks vapour rub and of course, hand sanitiser. After gracing Sopers with my presence and spoiling them with my limited knowledge of automobiles, I went home to cook tea for the girls, then do bath and bedtime. It was a tiring but positive day; better than I anticipated.
It was core day and I did attempt to do some of the workout, but I was feeling exhausted half way through. I finished with some balance exercises, a coughing fit and a cool down mixed with some inhaler pumps.
Day 66 – Wednesday 12th December 2018
Another good day at work; nothing exciting happened, but because I am there to fill in and help, not there all day every day, my attitude towards work is much better. I want to be busy and doing something useful otherwise I might as well be at home with Ember where I am always doing something useful. So I kept myself busy learning more (it is technically re-learning as I used to do this job all day everyday) and it is good for my brain and my confidence.
Laura had her work’s Christmas do so I had a night in on my own for the second night running. I don’t mind as I am one of the few who actually likes me. Plus, it means I had the pleasure of putting Brooke-Haze to bed twice in a row (not favouritism but I put Ember to bed most of the time, whereas with Brooke we alternate) and I like the little bits of time Brooke-Haze and I get to spend just the two of us.
It was push day, working those biceps like a pro. Even though I was still feeling rough and my chest felt like it was ripping apart every time I had a coughing fit, I still put in the work.
Day 67 – Thursday 13th December 2018
I woke up with an eye infection. Could my body be anymore useless, seriously? My limbs don’t work right; I struggle with the most natural thing of breathing and now my eyes!! The worst thing about having an eye infection…EYE DROPS!!! I am funny with my eyes. I do not like things going in my eyes, who does? It is why we have eyelids, to protect our eyeballs. I went to see the local pharmacist who sold me some of the devils’ medicine. I went home to shower my face with these drops hoping enough somehow got in my eyes to heal them, and then off to work.
I finished work and went home. Brooke-Haze gets new school books on a Thursday, so I sat with her and listened to her read. She is so good at reading; we are so lucky that she loves reading and learning. She plays schools with Ember which is helping Ember develop.
It was balance day so I had the opportunity to catch up on my exercises and also completed the pull workout. Afterwards I was exhausted. I was so tired, poorly, physically and mentally drained I fell asleep early. It sounds good getting to sleep early, but it was not in a good way. My body has been feeling like it is shutting down, like I am reaching my breaking point and then pushing past it.
Day 68 – Friday 14th December 2018
Friday was a long day. I woke early to get the girls ready. I had to drop Ember off first then race around the roadwork diversions (at the speed limit) to get Brooke-Haze to school. I then lightly jogged to my car to again race at the speed limit, to Laura’s work to swap cars (the MINI is going back next Monday and was being washed ready for return), then finally race at the speed limit to work. The barrier was down when I got to work, so I had to jump out the car to put the barrier code in. A tall technician was sat in a MINI behind me waiting to go in, as I walked back to my car he went around me and parked which made the barrier come back down. So, I finally got the car parked and clocked in at 9.29am, boom!
After a busy day, Laura came to pick me up at 5pm with the girls and my work week was done. It was late by the time we got home and the girls were hungry, so we decided not to cook and went to the Homestead for tea. It was a nice meal and a nice way to put a full stop at the end of this week.
Tomorrow my little Ember turns three, she turns three!!! We are taking Ember to meet some Disney princesses (and a queen), she doesn’t know where we are going, and then family are coming round for tea and cake in the afternoon. I am feeling very proud and a little sad. The past three years have flown by and Ember is no longer a toddler, she is a young lady.
Day 69 – Saturday 15th December 2018
Happy birthday Ember!!! Ember is now three years old. She was so excited that when we went into her room at 8.45am she was still fast asleep. Thank you to everyone who wished Ember a happy birthday on Instagram. She had a wonderful day and was such a good girl all day. We took her to meet the princesses but unfortunately the two we wanted to see (Belle and Anna) weren’t there due to a family loss. But the best thing happened (if you follow me on Instagram you might have seen it) when Brooke-Haze and Ember went up to have a photo with Queen Elsa, Brooke-Haze told her it was Ember’s birthday. Elsa stopped the music and photos and sang happy birthday directly to Ember; it was truly magical. I felt so emotional and proud in that moment, watching my two precious creatures of beauty on stage and just thinking about how amazing life is.
We had family come round in the afternoon for cups of tea, sing to Ember and have a piece of dinosaur cake. It was a busy but very nice day. My 92-year-old Nan made it which was nice for me and Ember, her uncles came, her cousins came, and it was just a nice ending to a nice day. Happy birthday Ember, I love you baby girl.
Day 70 – Sunday 16th December 2018
I woke up feeling like I had been on a full bender weekend. Brooke-Haze came bursting in telling me Ember was awake. I sent her to get Ember up and they played nicely together whilst I got myself together. I was hoping for a nice lazy day. It was a nice easy-going day but I did not stop all day. My body is in dire need of a holiday. I was dressed in my lazy lounge wear forgetting I was supposed to be going to Laura’s aunt’s house for a little while. When Laura came home and laid this revelation on me something inside my body died. I must admit I did enjoy myself whilst there, blessing more people with the quirkiness that is me.
I want to apologise to everyone this week for it being a boring week to read about. I hope someone gets something from it, whether it is a feeling you can relate to, something makes you feel less alone or makes you put less pressure on yourself, because I do my best to adhere to the exercise plans and be conscious of my diet but life can and will get in the way. With that in mind, the most important thing to me is family, mainly the girls. If I have limited energy or time which can either be spent on me or on them, they will win every time. I have enjoyed working this week, mainly because it has only been for this week. A saying has been floating around my head this week, “it is nice to be important but more important to be nice.” I will leave you with that and let’s hope next week isn’t filled with illness and sadness so it is a little less boring for you; my one reader.