Day 22 – Monday 29th October 2018
Monday was a hard day. I hardly slept; I was overcome with emotions in the night, lost control and was on the verge of full on panic attack. I struggled with these 8 years ago back in 2010 and never want to go back to how it was. I was able to gain some control but it took all my strength. When I woke up a few hours later that dread, upset and anxiousness was still there. My body was tired, I was emotionally drained and was in no fit state to do a full on workout. I did my usual stretches and balance exercises but not the legs workout like I was supposed to. I tried to attempt a normal day. I went out to a few shops with Laura and Ember but that tightening feeling wouldn’t let up. By the time the evening came I started to feel better. The cloud that had been hanging over my head for the past few days had finally started to move. I took myself away from all social media so I could concentrate on my own wellbeing, as the saying goes “you can’t help anyone until you help yourself.”
Day 23 – Tuesday 30th October 2018
I slept better and woke up still drained, but feeling a bit brighter. It was abs day and I was determined to get this programme back on track. I got out of bed, got my sexy exercise gear on and did the workout first thing. I was glad I did. People aren’t lying when they say after working out you will feel better about yourself, because I definitely did. Afterwards, I tried to have a relaxing morning. In the afternoon, Brooke-Haze had an appointment with the doctor and unfortunately she has been diagnosed with Asthma and got prescribed steroid tablets. We decided to give her them straight after tea (dinner). The first one she took like a champion, the second one, not so good. She took too long swallowing it and it started to dissolve in her mouth with an awful taste and she got upset. Once she calmed down we thought of the great idea of giving them to her with yoghurt. This worked really well. But after a full meal, a glass and a half of water and a yoghurt, Brooke-Hazes belly wasn’t feeling so good. She came to cuddle me and just as she was about to sit on my knee I heard the dreaded sound of a heave. She projectile vomited up the water, tablets and what looked like a couple of green beans. Don’t worry though, I was able to push her away just in time to ensure none went on me. Before you judge me, sick is like kryptonite to this sexy Superdad and she was fine afterwards.
Day 24 – Wednesday 31st October 2018
Halloween!! Another bittersweet day for my family; as it is also the anniversary of the passing of my mother-in-law. Brooke-Haze and Ember were very excited for their first ever trick or treat outing, but it was sad knowing their amazing Nanny is missing seeing these gorgeous girls grow. Brooke-Haze was a glittery witch/vampire (she had face paint like Dracula…her decision) and Ember was a cute little Frankenstein. We only went round our little estate but it was nice. A few neighbourly folk had actually gone out of their way to make it a little more special for the kids going round; one sat outside in a costume and interacted with the children. Whilst another (my favourite) hid in a corner outside his house in a skeleton costume waiting for the trick or treaters. As they walked down his drive he slowly came out from his spot and made them all jump. The girls were freaked out, especially Ember, which I found highly hilarious. No workout again today, however I feel today was excusable.
Day 25 – Thursday 1st November 2018
Thursday was an early start. After I dropped Brooke-Haze at school I went home and had a morning just me and Ems (the nickname I call Ember). I used today to catch up on my bicep workout as today was balance day, but I try to do these exercises everyday as balance and foot drop is something that I struggle with, especially when tired. It is not a strenuous exercise but it is a very important exercise. Today was a very normal day which I was thankful for.
Day 26 – Friday 2nd November 2018
Friday was my alone day again like most Fridays are. However, because my nerves have been through the ringer this week I didn’t like the house being so quiet. I constantly felt uneasy, I couldn’t focus on a task properly and was just clock watching until it was time to collect Brooke-Haze from school. I was supposed to do the upper body workout, but shortly after I’d started the workout my chest began to tighten so I redirected my energy to my mind. Looking after your mind has to come first in my opinion.
Day 27 – Saturday 3rd November 2018
Saturday was a very busy day. It started with getting girls ready to go to ballet. Once we got there we realised Brooke-Haze had forgotten her ballet shoes, so back home to pick them up then back to ballet. After ballet, it was off to the shops then home once more. I did my upper body workout which felt good. I needed to sort the garage out and as I was moving things, a bag fell off and knocked over my sister-in-law’s bubble lamp, my heart stopped. I believe this lamp was hers as a child, so it has been around for years (she was recently featured in the mature learners section of a college/university programme, but she is only 34). Anxiety and guilt consumed my body. I hate being that guy who is clumsy or makes a mistake. However, I owned up to it (my first thought to blame Laura). Luckily she was very understanding, so thank you for that. This was all before lunch! Once Laura came home, we went to my Nan’s for bonfire night festivities (minus the bonfire). I cooked what felt like a billion burgers and sausages, fried onions and baked jacket potatoes (well Nan cooked them but I moved them to the table). Afterwards it was firework time, wahoo! I felt like a creepy grave digger as I was digging up the ground to fill a bucket for the fireworks. It was so windy though so we only let off a few fireworks. Time for home. Both girls fell asleep on the way home which was beautiful, mainly because it was quiet, but also because they both looked so cute.
Day 28 – Sunday 4th November 2018
Sunday was a lazy day, a super lazy day. I felt so cold and achy, my legs were like lead from the day before and I just wanted my bed. Me and the girls watched films and built some towers; and that’s it.
I’m now a third of the way through the MS Warrior programme and have learnt a lot. I have learnt about nutrition and exercise, and also a lot about myself. This week has been a hard week. I feel guilty that I missed leg day but at the same time I feel it was the right thing to do at the time. I am hopeful now that the distractions and interruptions are out of the way I can once again eat better and get back on the workout schedule properly.